It's nearly here.......

OK so I just had to do one more post to see the year out.....

The past two weeks have been very hard for us......

The tears still flow....

But I am pleased to say tomorrow is the start of a New Year & a new Decade I am on count down....

Two days after Toad died we had our Chrissie drinks with friends, something we had planned a week or so before....





The photo above is left to right...Dave, Spike & my Darlin' jamming.....

The photo above is where Toad normally sat & as we didn't have his guitar we placed my Darlin's *Cat* guitar in his chair & a can of his favourite *Inner Circle* Rum.....

If there is one good thing to come of all this it is that Mick (our eldest son) & I are now talking again, it just proves to me that Toad is looking after me.....

His funeral was the largest & saddest I had ever been to before & in the end I couldn't write anything, the words just would not come to me but I stood by my Hubbies side as he spoke of the love he felt for his friend, I was so proud of him especially as through all his tears he got to say everything he has written down.....

So many friends who over the years had moved away came back to say their farewells & it was so good to catch up with them at the wake & remember old times, to laugh & cry together.....

So this is the last day of 2009 & as you all know I am sure I am counting the hours down to say farewell to what has been a shocking year for us.....

But at the same time there are somethings I am grateful for....

My Mum & Dad are still with us.....

My family in NZ got to spend time together as a family again, all together at once which is very rare.....

My son & I are rebuilding our relationship......

The five people who love & miss Toad the most are seeing more of each other, we know how important friendships really are.....

I have broken ties with so called friends who only hurt me by their cruel words, it feels so good to finally stand up to them & tell them I no longer want them in my life.....

Tomorrow is a New Year but more important to me it is our Ryno's birthday, he will turn 24 & to me that is as they say *priceless*, it will also be 24 years since I moved to Coffs Harbour, I often wonder where those 24 years have gone.....

I read my horoscope yesterday, something I don't do very often but I think it was pretty bang on, it said....As the year ends it's time to let all that has occurred this year go - especially events which haven't been to your liking. This may include a social circle or even an attitude you're tired of.... Last night I let a so called friend go & feel so good I wont be dragging her hurtful tongue into 2010 with me.....

The tears still flow, the hurt still cuts deep but we are still here....

Wishing you all a very Happy New Year may it bring everything you hope for & be kind to you.....

I also want to thank everyone who has visited my blog this year, left comments for me & have become a follower of my blog, I truly feel honoured.....