~I NEED To Get this Off My Chest~

In my last post I told you all that for last 3 or so weeks I have had Shingles well now I need to tell you all WHY!!!!!! Last May a man that has been a friend to my Darlin' for the past 30 years & who I thought was a friend of mine for the past 20 years suddenly started *bad mouthing* me to our friends & whoever he thought would listen. This is a man who used to visit me twice a day every day, who I listened to all his problems & went out of my way to help him with his problems until I couldn't help him any more. He decided to cut himself off from me but at the same time hoped he would not only cut me off from our friends but also come between my Darlin' & I. For my Sweet that was the last straw & he cut all ties with him after quite a nasty argument. So when my sister was over we found a letter under our door (a very nasty letter) blaming us for his misery plus letting us know we had *failed Toad* (our very close friend who died at the end of last year, & this man's brother).

That letter he wrote hurt more than anything has in a long time but we got on with life. Then suddenly I found a large rash on my right arm which over the days travelled onto my chest, I became very tired & I couldn't lift my arm, couldn't sit or lay down without being in severe pain. I also realised that since May I had begun to bite my nails again, something I hadn't done in years, but the biggest thing I realised was you can fool your Conscious Mind BUT YOU CAN NEVER EVER FOOL YOUR SUB CONSCIOUS MIND. I had been telling myself this man was not going to bother me when in fact I was falling apart inside. Tonight he decided to get in touch with us again, why am I surprised he sent us nasty text messages, in the end my reply to him was GOODBYE!.I don't feel any better, I think I need to say this to his face but he won't face me so am wondering if it will ever be solved?????? I DO however feel better for having written this down, who knows maybe this is what I have needed since May..... Thanks for listening.......