Tuesday, August 31, 2010

~I NEED To Get this Off My Chest~

In my last post I told you all that for last 3 or so weeks I have had Shingles well now I need to tell you all WHY!!!!!! Last May a man that has been a friend to my Darlin' for the past 30 years & who I thought was a friend of mine for the past 20 years suddenly started *bad mouthing* me to our friends & whoever he thought would listen. This is a man who used to visit me twice a day every day, who I listened to all his problems & went out of my way to help him with his problems until I couldn't help him any more. He decided to cut himself off from me but at the same time hoped he would not only cut me off from our friends but also come between my Darlin' & I. For my Sweet that was the last straw & he cut all ties with him after quite a nasty argument. So when my sister was over we found a letter under our door (a very nasty letter) blaming us for his misery plus letting us know we had *failed Toad* (our very close friend who died at the end of last year, & this man's brother).





That letter he wrote hurt more than anything has in a long time but we got on with life. Then suddenly I found a large rash on my right arm which over the days travelled onto my chest, I became very tired & I couldn't lift my arm, couldn't sit or lay down without being in severe pain. I also realised that since May I had begun to bite my nails again, something I hadn't done in years, but the biggest thing I realised was you can fool your Conscious Mind BUT YOU CAN NEVER EVER FOOL YOUR SUB CONSCIOUS MIND. I had been telling myself this man was not going to bother me when in fact I was falling apart inside. Tonight he decided to get in touch with us again, why am I surprised he sent us nasty text messages, in the end my reply to him was GOODBYE!.I don't feel any better, I think I need to say this to his face but he won't face me so am wondering if it will ever be solved?????? I DO however feel better for having written this down, who knows maybe this is what I have needed since May..... Thanks for listening.......


                                              

4 comments:

Anonymous said...
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Rebecca said...

Lynn...I'm so sorry for your troubles. As hard as this is to deal with (and I KNOW IT IS I've been in similar situations before) you MUST MUST MUST let it go.

Some things are beyond our control and recognizing what those things are will do you a world of good. Leave it in God's hands... He KNOWS exactly how to handle it all.

Thinking of you~

Love to you~

Rebecca

Alison Gibbs said...

Oh lyn there are some horrid people out there.
Sometimes it helps to rid things from our inner thoughts by writing them down. Just like sweeping dirt from your floor.
Lets hope this dirt is gone from your life and you will be able to feel good inside again
Alison

rhubarbwhine said...

I had someone who I thought was my friend, do this to me a while back. I found out via the Internet - and I was DEVASTATED. To make it worse, this person was someone who I admired, and she was joined by others and formed a cliquey group of girls that just ripped into several of us, all of whome we thought as friends.

I am so so sorry to hear your news and had to unlurk to let you know, as I feel your pain. I really do not understand human nature sometimes. Big hugs from me and mine.